Finally, My Move News!

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Waaaay back in February or March, my brother, Tommy, called to say that he and his wife (also named Jennifer), were purchasing a ranch in New Mexico, about an hour north of Silver City, smack in the Gila National Forest near Lake Roberts.

They plan to rent the ranch house out for weekly or monthly vacation rentals on AirBnB for several years, and would I consider moving there to be the caretaker? There is a 1,200 square foot workshop building which can house my yarn / painting studio, and a small living space when the house is rented (and eventually a yoga studio). They knew I would be divorced by the end of the year, and wanted to give me an option, and an opportunity to shake up my life (yeah, he’s a really good brother, and SIL 😀 ).

My first response was ARE YOU INSANE?! How could I possibly move that far away from my kids, my family, my friends, from the forest and the mountains, from my hometown of Washington, DC, from everything familiar?! … How could I move that far from MY KIDS! Nope. No way. Nuh-uh. But, hey, thanks for thinking of me.

one the way to the ranch, and views from the many porches at the ranch

My brother, being the more rational one of the two of us, told me to just take some time to think about it. From their view, it was the perfect opportunity for all of us – I’d have a place to go that was new and different, where I could regroup and figure out my life and future. They’d have someone they totally trust to watch over the place. So, I said, fine, I’ll think about it (all the while thinking to myself there was no way I could every consider doing something so crazy).

But he sent me the real estate link to the property, and links to the area. And I sat on it, and thought about it, and agonized and obsessed and pretty much drove myself crazy. And then I talked to a couple of friends and one of them, who knows me so well, said, in her infinite wisdom, “JEN. This is not a decision for the rest of your life. Just go do it for a year. You can do anything for a year, and it might be just what you need.”

exterior of the ranch house, built to look like an old adobe dwelling

And then I didn’t feel quite so crazed about it all. Took a deep breath, and started to envision whether I could actually do it. And I made plans to visit in April, when Tommy and Jen were headed out for the house inspection.

more exterior shots (don’t you want to come stay? It will be for rent! stay tuned for more information on that!)

And … OMG. It’s enchanting. All of it. The ranch house, the workshop building, the Gila, Silver City, and everything in between (yeah, they don’t call New Mexico the Land of Enchantment for nothing!). I walked out on one of the balconies at the house, looked at the view, heard the wind through the pine trees (which I think might be my favorite sound of all), and I fell in love with the idea of making such a move (because, really, if not now, WHEN?), living somewhere so different, having time and space to figure my own self out.

Ranch house interiors. Yeah, it’s really cool!

Still. Moving that far away from my kids, my parents, my friends … that’s really, really hard to envision. In the end, I talked to my kids and my daughter was all over the idea, telling me to go for it and it would all be fine. My son was much more cautious, but in the end he’s at least mostly supportive of it. I seriously couldn’t even contemplate doing something like this without their support.

I’ve never been much of a risk-taker. I feel like I’ve tended to take the safer, more secure route when making decisions. Maybe I’m older and wiser, but I realized something during this process: We only regret the chances we don’t take (okay, I guess there may be some chances we could regret taking, but on the whole I think that’s true).

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view from the road between Silver City and the ranch (it all makes Rappahannock County, VA and the Shenandoah look downright suburban)

I asked myself two questions: “If I don’t do this, will I always wonder ‘What If?'” And, “If I don’t do this, will I regret it?” The answer to the first question was absolutely yes; the answer to the second question was most likely yes. And in honestly answering those questions and listening to my intuition and my soul, I had my answer to the question of whether or not I could move so far away. Yes. Yes, I could. As frightening and fraught a decision as it was, yes.

a little bit of Silver City – artsy, funky, quaint, friendly town about a hour from the ranch

Also? Thank goodness for technology – if I couldn’t keep in touch with my kids so easily through FaceTime, text, Find My Friends, and old-fashioned calling, I doubt my answer would have been yes.

I could stay where I am. Find another house in Virginia, stay close and comfortable and secure. But I don’t think we grow as much in the safe, secure, comfortable spaces. I’d already made a huge, scary decision in ending my marriage. And looking forward, I know I want more from life than the safe, secure, and comfortable.

Gila Cliff Dwellings, about 40 minutes from the ranch

It sort of seems like destiny. The name of my business is, after all, named after a concept in Navaho weaving called the Weaver’s Pathway, also loosely translated as the Spirit Trail. When I mentioned my plans to a few “industry friends,” a number of them said they actually thought I lived in New Mexico. The cliff dwellings and Chaco Canyon have been on my bucket list since high school. And Georgia O’Keeffe … don’t even get me started on how I wanted to be her when I grew up – so independent, so incredibly talented, so strong and opinionated and living life on her own terms. I have to wonder if it’s all been leading me to this point, and this decision.

Who knows! But, after several delays with the ranch purchase (the last of which had to do with the fact that it’s IN the Gila National Forest, and there were some boundary line issues) off I go! Well, it’s not that easy, of course. I’d by a liar if I didn’t admit I’m terrified, sometimes to the point of paralysis. But, as is often the case, I think making the decision was the hardest part. I still question whether I’m nuts to even be considering this move, or might ultimately chicken out … and I probably will up until I arrive there (who knows, maybe even after I get there, but I do hope not). You know the saying, courage is not the absence of fear, but being afraid and doing the scary thing anyway. I’ve never considered myself all that courageous, but maybe I am. A little.

Gila Hot Springs, about 30 minutes from the ranch

As I mentioned above, the house will be available for vacation rentals on AirBnB, so once the deal is done and the website is built, I’ll most certainly share the info in case any of you fancy a vacation in a really cool place, with so much beauty surrounding it, and so much to do and see (Silver City, the Gila Cliff Dwellings, the Gila Hot Springs, hiking in the Gila National Forest, fishing and boating on Lake Roberts … and the Tour of the Gila Bike Race, the Silver City Blues Festival, and so many other events in Silver City to enjoy, too). Or, hey, get a group of friends together and rent it for a fun weekend; there will be three bedrooms available (queen, double, twin), plus several additional lodging options right nearby (with advanced notice and coordination, we could potentially add a dye workshop to your weekend!).

I have lots of thoughts and ideas about potential knitting and / or dyeing retreats, and have even talked in general with some of my designer-friends about teaching. So, stay tuned for that as well! Once I get out there, get settled, and can look forward and actually plan something, there may just be some retreats and other events at the ranch.

I’ve now moved out of my studio in Sperryville, VA, so my journey has begun. Soon I’ll be moving in with a local friend for the month of January and possibly part of February, and will be sharing her studio so I’ll be able to dye yarn for some shop updates I have planned for the first part of the year. And then I’ll be packing everything up, a three day drive West, and getting settled into my new life (at least for a year … it’s just a year spent out west, at this point … I can’t think beyond that yet).

I won’t be traveling alone though: this is Saoirse (pronounced Seer-sha), my new puppy! She was born on October 18; her mom is an American Bull Terrier and we’re guessing her Dad was a German Shepherd (those ears!). Time will tell!

What this major move also means is that I will no longer be vending at either the Maryland Sheep & Wool Festival or the New York Sheep & Wool Festival. I’ve been a vendor at both for 14 (or 15?) years and the latter was an especially difficult decision. I love NYSW so much; it’s hard to imagine not vending there, most especially seeing everyone who comes to my booth. You all are the best part of doing shows, and I’m really going to miss having that face to face connection with you.

But the realities and technicalities of vending from so far away are just more than I can contemplate (I know many vendors do travel extremely long distances to attend these shows; it’s just not something I can see for myself). I am happy, though, that I’ll be going to NY as a regular attendee in 2019, along with most of my booth babe cohorts, so perhaps we can have a STF get together at some point at the festival!

I look forward to sharing the coming year’s adventure with you. I’m excited to see whether this new environment will change my color sense, colorways, and dyeing!

Which brings me to one more topic: 2019 Yarn Club! I’m still working out the specifics, but this year it is called (appropriately) New Beginnings. If you’d like notice of the club openings before they’re live to the general public, make sure you’re subscribed to my newsletter. I’ll be sending a quick newsletter out sometime the first week of January (which is this coming week! Yikes!) with secret subscription pages, before they go live to everyone.

Here’s to adventure, and to living life with an exclamation point! Happy New Year, everyone!

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Sales to Help Suicide Prevention

UPDATE JULY 5, 2018: Thanks to everyone who placed an order for this fundraiser! I’ve tallied all the orders and am sending a total of $789 ($263.00 each) to the three organizations working to prevent suicide. I so appreciate you joining me in this effort, and hope that we’ve made a difference!

And there’s more! I’ve added an app to my website called Pledgeling, which automatically deducts 1% from every sale and donates it to these three organizations on a monthly basis. So, every sale will include an automatic donation, and you can see the running tally of how much has been donated so far on every product page.  

You’ve probably heard the news this week, that both Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade took their own lives. Suicide is just so damn heartbreaking; I cannot imagine losing someone this way. And yet it happens, every hour of every day, over and over and over.

I’ve spent this week, and this morning even more, thinking about this devastating issue. I absolutely adored Anthony Bourdain – his humor, his humanity, his irreverence, his honesty, his ability to connect with people all over the world, his respect for other cultures and traditions, the joy he seemed to experience in what he did, and in bringing his stories to the rest of us. Part of how I’ve spent today is thinking about what I can possibly do to help prevent more tragedies.

I’ve sat here all morning in such a dark, sad place, grappling with the loss of Anthony Bourdain – how ever will his his daughter, his girlfriend, his friends and family come to terms with the choice he felt he had to make. The aftermath of his loss this way must be just beyond overwhelming, and completely devastating.

And it’s like this for every person who’s lost someone to suicide. The suicides of these two celebrities obviously garner more attention and press than “regular” people who commit suicide every hour of every day, but once again, celebrity suicide brings this horrible issue front and center for all of us.

I’ve spent the morning reading countless articles and statistics about suicide here in the US, and it’s staggering:

A 2016 study showed that 20 US Veterans commit suicide every day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Veterans make up 9% of the US population and account for 18% of suicides – from 2001 to 2014, as the civilian suicide rate rose about 23.3%, the rate of suicide among veterans jumped more than 32%. Female Veterans saw their suicide rates rise more than 85 % over that time, compared to about 40% for civilian women.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people aged 10 – 24.

1 out of 6 students in the US seriously considered suicide last year.

Overall, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US.

Suicide rates in the US have risen nearly 30% since 1999.

All of these rates and statistics explode for our LGBT populations, especially LGBT youth.

I’m one of the “lucky” ones, because suicide has not touched me personally, in a direct way. But I have friends who have lost loved ones from suicide. My daughter lost a friend, a camp counselor at her beloved nature camp, to suicide. I have dear friends and family who have dealt with depression and anxiety. I’ve personally dealt with depression. It’s debilitating and tough, and my own experience with depression wasn’t all THAT serious. But it really does just suck the life out of you.

So, what I can I do? I feel like I have to do something. I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. The best thing I can think of is to support organizations working to help people in crisis. Yeah, I can do it on my own and send them a donation. But it’s more meaningful if we do it together (and we can give more if we do it together). This is where you come in. Because if we work together, we can help together by donating even more to preventing suicide. I hope you’ll join me.

I’m donating 50% of every order placed today through June 15, 2018, equally split between the following organizations:

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, which has a three-star rating from Charity Navigator (which measures how much funding goes towards programs versus overhead and administration costs) with an overall score of 89.06 out of 100. AFSP is the leading national not-for-profit organization exclusively dedicated to understanding and preventing suicide through research, education and advocacy, and to reaching out to people with mental disorders and those impacted by suicide.

The Trevor Project, which has a four-star rating from Charity Navigator (scoring 90.34 out of 100 overall) was founded in 1998 by the creators of the Academy Award®-winning short film TREVOR. It is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25.

National Veterans Foundation, has a three-star rating from Charity Navigator (scoring 87.02 out of 100). The NVF Lifeline for Vets helps veterans of all eras, their family members and active duty service members, some while serving overseas in combat deployments. NVF also assists veterans with medical treatment, PTSD counseling, VA benefits advocacy, food, shelter, employment, training, legal aid, suicide intervention and more.

If you feel as I do, and want to help, please consider making a purchase from my shop (the only purchases excluded are those already discounted, which are basically items on the Club Members Only page).

I hope you’ll consider making a purchase. I’ve carefully considered my expenses to provide the highest percentage donation to these organization that I can; I’m not out to make a profit on this. I’d like to donate 100% of sales, but I’m just not in a position to do that ~ I need to cover my expenses so I can continue doing business. But together we can make a donation to help people in crisis, and perhaps help save a life.

If you know someone who may need help (or you yourself need help), please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. This CNN article provides more information and resources.